I woke up yesterday to the raucous sounds of a particular type of bird that is distinct. These birds are seen all over India and are quite intelligent - even rivaling some distinguished people of our country whom we have mistakenly elected as our people's representatives. Their cawing woke me up around 5 am and after brushing my teeth, I went to the kitchen to prepare coffee. It was then that I saw a few crows outside on the neighbour's window shade crowing about in a very disturbed manner. There were angry responses from other crows whom I couldn't see from the narrow window of my kitchen. I wondered what the commotion was all about - and that too early in the morning. Had the crows taken over from the rooster to wake up humans?
Being quite well versed in the language of the crows, I beckoned the crow nearest to me and inquired as to what the whole discussion was about. Here's an edited version of the story. (Edited to remove certain 'parliamentary' words used by the crow).
I: Hi! Good morning. What is the occasion? Why are you so agitated?
C (Crow): Hey! Sorry to have woken you up today. Didn't know that you wanted to sleep for some more time.
I: What is the occasion?
C: Ha! Our Chief Crow called the special session of the assembly of Crows to discuss why you humans have stopped feeding us? We are going hungry and our chicks are starving, you know. Hardly anyone serves us freshly cooked rice anymore. I have been told by my grandmother crow that she used to enjoy the ghee soaked rice with some dal which probably your mother served her many years ago. We have hardly tasted such food recently. Our chicks are dying of hunger and you are least bothered. That is the prime reason for our special session today.
I: Oh! I thought you were objecting to the काला कौव्वा jibe that we people use.
C: That is another pet peeve of ours. In fact last evening there was a speculation among some of us that the special session may be because our Chief Crow wanted to change our names from कौव्वा to something else. In fact some of us were voting for some interesting names. Some wanted us to be referred to as कागा or कृष्ण काग: However, that is not why our special session has been called for.
I: Any reason you think you have a right to demand food from us? Do you know we work for our food. We struggle with our bosses, our traffic, our inflation, our children's school fees and their tuition charges. Hardly anything remains after all these expenses. How do you expect us to prepare extra food on a daily basis to feed you folks? What work do you do to 'earn' food?
C: Haven't you read your holy books? Isn't it mentioned that we are the reincarnated form of your ancestors. Don't you think it is your duty to feed your ancestors? After all it is just a spoonful for you; but that is enough to fill the stomachs of at least three of us. Can't you show some kindness towards your fellow species? As for doing work, do you know that we are also one of the 'cleaning staff' for your city? We have been reduced to eating the leftover food that people throw away on the roads and near the compound walls. Most times that food is what even you folks couldn't tolerate. The Swiggy and Zomato stuff that you waste money on. You just throw them away. We try and salvage some from there and feed ourselves and carry that for our chicks. But that is giving us poor health. Many of us are just collapsing and dying - probably of food poisoning. You are responsible for many of our deaths. You should be held accountable. Our Chief Crow wants to find out if your Chief Justice would take a suo-moto case on our behalf and tell your PM to come out with a law to feed us fresh food every day.
I: Wow! You folks have discussed all this today in your special assembly session so early in the morning?
C: Yes, indeed. We woke up early today for this special session. It was called for so early so that we could pass on our request to some people who can understand us.
I: It is quite early now, and my wife hasn't yet prepared rice. Would you mind if I keep a few biscuits here for you? Will that suffice for the present? I will try and persuade my wife to feed you with your rice soaked with ghee and dal everyday. Though she is bound to ask why I am making that request to her today. She doesn't know that I can converse with you in your language. I generally do not 'crow' about my abilities, you know. Pardon the pun. Do you like fresh filter coffee? I can keep a cup for you.
C: No need for biscuits and all. That is not healthy. In fact even stale bread that you throw away after its expiry is harming us. We want rice or roti. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?
I: I will pass on your request to all.
C: There is another problem for us. Why do you folks call a group of crows as 'murder of crows'? Why do you call the collection of owls as 'parliament of owls'? We object to that. In fact, our Chief Crow wanted to call our 'assembly' as the 'parliament of crows', but you folks have given us another poor label.
I: Actually you should be happy that we do not refer to you as the 'parliament of crows'. Have you heard of what really happens in our Parliament? How our elected representatives debate? If you had heard, you would not have come up with the request for the label change. In fact, I think the owl fraternity may call for a special session tonight to request for a change in their nomenclature.
C: Oh. Ok then. I will inform the Chief Crow about this and we may drop the request for the change.
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Appeal to all: Please do keep food for the starving birds. Help them so that they can help us.
