Friday, October 26, 2012

Open letter to Lewis Hamilton

Its the F1 season in India and the media is full of sound and video bites from the drivers. The circuit at Noida has been praised by all drivers and they are thankful they have to drive there and not on Indian roads!

Lewis Hamilton has this to say, "“There must be some fantastic drivers in India, I am sure,” he said, only half joking. “I cannot fathom how vehicles converge at any given point from all directions at the same time and no one hits anyone. They all move away smoothly. Thank goodness, I do not drive on Indian roads.” (comment from here).

I am sorry, Lewis. There are hardly any "fantastic" drivers in India. If by "fantastic", you mean those guys who:
  • drive at night with hi-beam always - even when they are driving on well illuminated roads, or driving at 10 kmph.
  • overtake from your left on a narrow road even if you are turning left.
  • drive on the wrong side of the road with full lights on during the day as if that gives them the right to drive on the wrong side (even though for them it is the "right" side).
  • drive while talking on their mobile phones without the "benefit" of a headset or bluetooth device.
  • cut across all forms of vehicles to park on the right side of the road.
  • double park near the shop and put their hazard lights on - again as if that confers on them the right to park wherever.
  • honk as soon as the traffic light turns green - even if they are ten cars behind.
You are wrong to presume that all cars converge, and as if a miracle has happened, no one touches any other car. It is not a miracle. In India, drivers somehow manage to possess two eyes on either side of their head and keep looking at all the three rear view mirrors while driving. It is something that antelopes and Thomson gazelles do in Africa - always looking around for predators. In India every other car is a predator and you are the prey.

We do it because of a genetic miracle conferred on us by a team of God and the Traffic Police so that they (Traffic police) don't have to do the work they are supposed to do - regulate traffic. It is not that cars do not touch others. I am yet to see a car without a dent or a scratch on Indian roads and however careful you may be, you are not guaranteed that idiots are not behind or by your side. We, in India, tolerate small scratches and dents and call it our "karma". In Tamil, we also say "karumam" (untranslatable, but nothing to do with the overwhelming affection for mothers and sisters that Virat Kohli is famous for).

Next year when you do come to India, please come down to Chennai, Bangalore or better still to Hyderabad and drive around at 6 pm near Begumpet or Nampally. I am sure the experience will be wonderful for you when you drive on that race track of yours. 





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